


Sam Winchester's Ten List of Halloween Survival Tactics

by Dolimir



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-30
Updated: 2011-10-30
Packaged: 2017-10-25 02:29:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/270734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dolimir/pseuds/Dolimir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam Winchester's Ten List of Halloween Survival Tactics</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sam Winchester's Ten List of Halloween Survival Tactics

**Author's Note:**

> Top Ten List is not mine. I found a larger list on a couple of humor websites, winnowed it down and put my own spin on the list.

“Mr. Winchester, a moment if you please.”

Sam, who had been in the middle of shoving his books into his backpack, looked up at his Computer Science teacher and nodded. As soon as he’d gathered all of his items, he moved to the front of the classroom.

“Yes, Mr. Winslow.”

“No need to look so worried, Sam. I just wanted to congratulate you on your website assignment. You will be receiving the highest grade in the class. Not only was your code perfect, but it was informative in a humorous way as well. I haven’t enjoyed a student website like yours in ages. How did you come up with the idea?”

“Er. I watch a lot of horror movies.”

“Well, you certainly got most of the tropes down pat. Anyway, I just wanted to say good job without embarrassing you in front of the class.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Mark Winslow shook his head as he watched his student disappear out into the hallway, then smiled. What an imagination that kid had.

 ****

Sam Winchester’s Top Ten List of Halloween Survival Tactics

 _1\. If you find a dusty leather-bound tome filled with pictures of demons and Latin phrases, do not read it aloud! Not even as a joke!_

 _2\. Even if you consider yourself one of the world’s best puzzle solvers, never try to solve a puzzle that advertises it can open a portal to Hell._

 _3\. If it’s after dark and your kitchen appliances suddenly start operating by themselves, do not go into the basement to check the circuit box, get out of the house immediately! Wait until the light of day to explore!_

 _4\. If you’ve been hearing strange unidentifiable noises all evening and the power goes off, do not go into the basement!_

 _5\. If for some reason, you disregard #4 and you hear a voice whispering to you to _Get out!_ , get out immediately!!!_

6\. If you disregard warnings #4 & #5 and decide to go into the basement to prove you aren’t afraid, be sure to dress appropriately.

  * Men, put on some shoes. A shirt probably wouldn’t hurt either. A layer of clothing might be enough to save your skin – giving you enough time to turn tail and run. 
  

  * Women, do not wear your flimsy negligees and high heel shoes into the basement. Seriously, that’s just begging for someone to eat you. 
  

  * And whatever you do, don’t carry a candle! Not only can it be blown out easily, but the chances that you might catch something on fire when you start jumping at shadows grows increasingly probable with each jump you make. 
  



7\. If you find yourself in a scary situation and you have the benefit of numbers on your side, NEVER pair off and go out alone. Stay in a group. It’s much, much safer. Monsters love to divide and conquer.

8\. Never stand on a grave, tomb, crypt or anything else that houses the dead. This sort of rudeness really hacks off the undead. Even the most benign ghost might want to have words with you over this discourtesy.

9\. Never take anything off the dead. Once they realize their item is missing, they **will** come back to claim it. The undead hate thieves.

10\. If, by some miracle, you manage to kill the monster attacking you, NEVER EVER check to see if it’s really dead. Chances are it isn’t.

  * Don’t try to take a picture of it with your cell phone either. The longer you stay in the immediate area, the slimmer your chances are of seeing the sun rise. 
  




End file.
